Courtney (lucky_in_love) wrote in brokenhearts,

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helpless in love

Hey everyone, im new and in desperate need of any and all advice.

Ok so my ex-boy friend, whos name is Joe, is two years younger then me which is not the issue. But I met him my junior (his freshman) year of high school and pretty much have been in love with him since. I cannot thing of one moment of knowing him i was ok with just being friends. Well, one day my senior year we finally kissed in December. I left for college (2 hours away) in august. We broke up for about a month for reasons i am not to sure of in November, but had gotten back together over Christmas break. We had an awesome relationship. We had tons of fun hanging out with our friends and what not. After Summer vacation, I left for school again in August which was his senior year of HS. Everything was great and I came home at least every other weekend to see him. Come April, I was coming home for summer vacation again and things seemed fine at first. He had gotten close to some new friends while I was away, which was fine. We had started fighting a bit and i was getting mad at him because it seemed like he would rather spend time with his friend Chris then me.And I know the way I reacted to alot of situations definitely pushed him away, But my strange emotions came mostly from me going on Birth Control, which I had explained to him and im pretty sure he understood. June 7th, he comes over and we pretty much talked about breaking up but he had to leave for work so we said we would talk more that night. Around midnight we meet up and decide it would be best to just take a break for awhile but said we definitely would get back together. We just needed some time. We actually danced in the parking lot, cried and he said he would always love me and couldnt see himself with anyone else. So needless to say, I had a good feeling about the break up thinking we would definitely get back together. Days later, I was confused as to where we stood and found out that he was getting feelings for his friend Kelly and they ended up dating about a week later. Of course I was absolutely crushed and disgusted. Kelly was leaving for school at out of state in 2 months so I told myself it was just a fling which could be good for him since I was his first everything (including first GF) Well, It is now Sept. and I am back at school, Kelly and Joe broke up when she left, and Joe is now living acros the street from me. I keep hoping that I can get things going between us by hanging out with him and what not. Im just really confused because I cant read his signals. He came over here one night and played the song we danced to twice, even after i changed it. Ive had many guys tell me they were interested, but for some reason I cannot let go of Joe. Ive been in love with him for so long and got him once, I dont know if im ready to give up just yet. I know everyone is going to say "try new things and let him come back to you". but its just not easy to sit back and wait for it to happen. But at the same time, I dont want to come off as pathetic. Im just so clueless on how to handle this. I just know I dont want to lose him. I guess im pretty much asking for ways to get him back? haha i know, no one can tell me that...I dunno, i guess anything would help a lot.

Thank you!
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